


the dumb gorilla and the gorgeous alien

by livin_la_vida_yaoi



Series: Iwaizumi/Oikawa [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Aliens, Arguing, Established Relationship, Godzilla - Freeform, Humor, Iwaizumi Hajime Swears, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 05:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18515017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livin_la_vida_yaoi/pseuds/livin_la_vida_yaoi
Summary: “Iwa-chan you... you...! You big dumb gorilla!”“What did you just call me?!”“You heard me! You’re a stupid monster, just like Godzilla!”“Shut the fuck up about Godzilla!”





	the dumb gorilla and the gorgeous alien

“Iwa-chan you... you...! You big dumb gorilla!”

“What did you just call me?!”

“You heard me! You’re a stupid monster, just like Godzilla!”

“Shut the fuck up about Godzilla!”

Oikawa glared at his boyfriend with his hands on his hips, lips pursed in anger, “You should stop being so mean to me!”

Iwaizumi crossed his arms, eyes twitching as he glared right back at Oikawa, “I’m not mean to you, Trashykawa! I’m the damn nicest person you know!”

“You just called me Trashykawa! How is that nice?”

“Because you’re the only who has a nickname like that!”

“That doesn’t mean it’s nice!” Oikawa groaned, throwing his head back in frustration, “Why can’t I call you a big dumb gorilla then?!”

“Because,” Iwaizumi huffed, “You already call me Iwa-chan,” he said, imitating Oikawa’s playful tone.

“Ugh! How could you?” Oikawa frowned, “Iwa-chan is a cute nickname!”

“Says who?”

“Says me! And I’m the most important in your life!”

“...Right next to Godzilla.”

“Wha–! Iwa-chan!” Oikawa whined, “You meanie! You’re just a big dumb gorilla bara-chan!”

“Oh yeah?! Well you’re just a, um...,” Iwaizumi stuttered, trying to think up some new insults, “you’re just a skinny... gorgeous... alien... piece of shit...!”

“....”

“Dammit.”

Oikawa snorted, “Awww! Iwa-chan! You think I’m gorgeous?”

“I’m your boyfriend, dumbass!” Iwaizumi exclaimed, his face heating up.

“How embarrassing for you~! You think I’m pretty!” Oikawa teased, yanking lightly on Iwaizumi’s sleeve.

“Sh-Shup up Shittykawa!”

Oikawa smirked and kissed his boyfriend on the cheek, “Ahh, Iwa-chan! Are you jealous because you’re not as pretty as me?”

“I’m fucking hot as fuck, the fuck do you mean?”

“So vulgar!”

“Yeah, well, fuck you.”

“You already did. Last night,” Oikawa snickered.

“ARGH!” Iwaizumi growled, his face lighting up again. His eyes darted back to Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who were standing at the other side of the club room, eyes wide. Iwaizumi covered his face in his hands, while Oikawa’s smirk was still plastered to his face.

The third years were silent for a few seconds, broken by the sudden and obnoxious burst of laughter from Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

“Damn Iwaizumi! What do you have to say to that!” Matsukawa wheezed, doubled over in laughter.

“I– that’s–!” Iwaizumi whipped back around to look at Oikawa, “You can’t just say stuff like that!”

“But Iwa-chan~” Oikawa pouted, “Everybody knows already! You fuck like a gorilla.” He said, rubbing his ass.

Hanamaki choked out an even louder laugh, smacking Matsukawa on the back, “What the heeeell Oikawa? You’re fucking crazy!”

“Iwaizumi out here getting exposed!” Matsukawa grinned.

Iwaizumi screeched and pulled on his hair, “Shut up shut up! I do not fuck like a gorilla!”

“I have bruises on my hips. Look!” Oikawa gestured for Matsukawa and Hanamaki to come look, his hand moving to his shorts.

“Don’t show them!” Iwaizumi yelled as he reached for Oikawa’s wrists, holding them in place.

“Quit being so rough, bara-chan~” Oikawa whined teasingly as Matsukawa and Hanamaki snickered.

“I swear to god, Oikawa–“

“Mattsun, Makki! You see this right? Iwa-chan is such a meanie.”

“That’s it!” Iwaizumi yelled and threw his hands into the air, stepping away from the others, “I’m going home.”

“Eh? Iwa-chan, we were supposed to go to my house!”

“Don’t want to.”

“But we were gonna hang out, we even have a long weekend!” Oikawa crossed his arms in disappointment.

“Don’t want to.”

“Ugh!”

“See you later.”

Oikawa ran at Iwaizumi and grabbed his arm, “Okay okay! I’m sorry! Hajime!” He whined, “I’ll stop, alright? So come home with me, we can watch Godzilla!”

Iwaizumi stared at Oikawa, brows furrowed and fists clenched, “...Fine.”

Oikawa beamed, “Yay!” He turned around to wink at Hanamaki and Matsukawa, “Godzilla always makes him really emotional and cute!” He whispered to them.

Iwaizumi sighed heavily, “If that’s how it’s gonna be, then I’m not gonna do that thing with you.”

Oikawa gasped, “Iwa-chan you promised!”

“Too bad. I’m not doing it.” He stated firmly as he picked up his bag, hastily exiting the club room.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa looked dejected as he followed his boyfriend out the door.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki shook their heads when the two were gone, “What do you think ‘the thing’ was?” Matsukawa asked.

“I bet you fifty bucks it had to do with handcuffs.” Hanamaki smirked.

“I’ll take it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this quick little thing <3 comments appreciated


End file.
